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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43741) - you deserved it (7201)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19850) - you deserved it (7178)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (7119)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (7103)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20592) - you deserved it (7011)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60559) - you deserved it (6961)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (6923)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (6794)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (6745)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31868) - you deserved it (6740)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (6713)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

#20444550
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (6695)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25801) - you deserved it (6680)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)



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