Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13381) - you deserved it (82720)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (55426)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7545) - you deserved it (43799)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9365) - you deserved it (38908)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML

#20473123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7663) - you deserved it (37059)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (35467)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9362) - you deserved it (35092)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

#20454301
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8041) - you deserved it (34669)

On 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by lostmyfaithinblowjobs (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12888) - you deserved it (34554)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

#20480724
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (34528)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML

#20436289
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6835) - you deserved it (34400)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18820) - you deserved it (34203)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: