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2day the police arrivd at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boyho lookd about 15 huggd me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 yeres old and had never seen this boy looool in my life. mega FML
TODAY, MONTHS INTO SUPPORTING MY MUM WITH HER PART TIME CLEANING JOB BY COOKING DINNER FIR MY LARGE FAMILY AFTER UNIVERSITY, I FOUND OUT THAT SHE DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAVE A JOB, SHE JUST LEAVES THE HOUSE FIR A FEW HOURS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO COOK DINNER. FML
Today, as per usual, mah mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret"!! Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret!! FML
Today, I attended ma aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent te first quarter of an our nieter grieving nor celebrating er life, but wining tat te ( cute ) clots ma aunt was dressed in could ave been anded down to er, instead of bieng ( wasted ). FML
Today, wife has the flu,hile I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as toho's more contagious andho should take care of her as to get her sick. Yay fir the entre day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. big fat FML
I went for a ceckup after aving recently been fitted wit dental implants. Te oral surgeon I cose was supposedly te best in te area, but it turns out tat e inserted te implants at te wrong angle. Now I ave to ave furter surgery to correct it. FML
Today , I went to take a shower. Afterwards , I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shrt to change into , so I putted on a towel and went back to mah room , only to witnes mah 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling mah bra , commenting on "how warm it is".
Today while on a first date with a charming guy I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along since my pads were in there and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
Taday While Moving Into Mah New Place , I Saw Mah New , Elderly Neighbor Sitting On Her Porch. I Cheerfully Greeted Her With , "Hello , How Are You?" She Simply Rocked Slowly In Her Chair And Replied , "Just Waiting To Die." She Was The Most Cheerful Person I Met All Day. FML
Friday 27 March 2015