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January 2013

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Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46080) - you deserved it (3931)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (3894)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51173) - you deserved it (3860)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you deserved it (3826)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21454) - you deserved it (3761)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34005) - you deserved it (3755)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34908) - you deserved it (3752)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33789) - you deserved it (3732)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML

#20442809
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19708) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (3704)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (3697)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States



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