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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, Mah Hubby Asked 4 A Morning Blow Job, An I Happily Obliged. All Was Going Great Until He Came An Farted At The Same Time. I Laughed An Reassured Him It Was No Big Deal. He Cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (5876)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today I got ome only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming te freezing streets calling is name I returned to fine im stuck beind te couc wit my cewed-up new soes in is muzzle. real FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (5844)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

yesterday my usband and I finally agreed on someting: marriage counseling. real FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (5835)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today my husband and I found the perfect house in our price range and everything we wanted in a house!! However the street it's on is called ( Arbour Butte Road )!! My husband refuses to buy it cuz he doesn't want it to sound lyk he lives ( in a tree's ass!! ) I'm married to an idiot!! FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (5813)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while askd me if I wantd to meet her in person . Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house . When she opend the door, she screamd and calld the cops on me . While detaind, she calld my phone asking why I never showd up today . FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, during dinner, mah mum asked y I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was cuz mah girlfriend had cheated on me!! At some point during mah venting, I asked y this stuff always seems to happen to me!! My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." real FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (5758)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I Was At A Party With My Crush. The Collar On His Shirt Was Sticking Up So I Fixed It Fir Him. He Gave Me A Hug And Said, ( Aww You're So Good To Me. You're Like My Mother. You Can Be My College Mother. ) I Got Mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (5754)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalizd a deal!! I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointd out that he was looool just trying to make my breasts jiggle!! I'm a man!! mega FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (5666)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Yesterday mah boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48441) - you deserved it (5635)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I thought maybe I should go to my doctor cuz my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom , so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hipshile asking me y I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (5547)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything!! Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors!! I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book!! FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (5492)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I played an intense paintball matc, wit me and ma friends versus ma boyfriend and is buddies . Wen we won, ma boyfriend went mental and said e only lost because of "lag" . Wen I pointed out we weren't in a video game, e reacted by fring a paintball straigt into ma cest . FML

#20478409
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (5445)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

TODAY, I CAUGT MY BOYFRIEND WEREING YOGA PANTS AN TAKING PICTURE OF IS BUTT TO POST ON A ( GRLS IN YOGA PANTS ) SITE. HE SAW MY EXPRESSION AN SAID, ( NA, IT'S COOL, I ID MY JUNK SO TEY'LL TINK IT'S A CICK! ) FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States



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