Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19530) - you deserved it (2277)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (2271)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -
Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (2267)
On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)
Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (2263)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20680) - you deserved it (2238)
On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13793) - you deserved it (2218)
On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (2182)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22744) - you deserved it (2171)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (2158)
On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (2145)
On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31575) - you deserved it (2127)
On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States
Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (2120)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (2116)
On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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