Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today I bought myself a pair of looool beautiful , hand-crafted earring with lighthouse on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouse look lyk dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. mega FML

Today, I walked in on grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (4877)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I found mah boyfriend's Facebook page . I also found his wife's . FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42655) - you deserved it (4852)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked mah mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50435) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

TODAY, I DECIDED TO GO TO A UV-LIGHT PARTY DRESSED ALL IN WHITE. BEFORE LEAVING, MAH LITTLE BROTHER DUMPED A GLASS OF TOMATO JUICE OVER MAH HEAD SAYING, "NOW U LOOK JUST LYK A USED TAMPON!"

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (4822)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, both my car an my father's car were broken into . They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, an multiple items of clothing . What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash . FML

#20443271
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (4806)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I WAS DISCUSSING WITH MAH HUSBAND HOW IT WAS TIME I STOPPED TAKING BRTH CONTROL SO WE COULD HAVE A BABY!! HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID SINCERELY, "WE'RE A LITTLE YOUNG TO BE HAVING KIDS, DON'T YOU THINK?"!! HE'S 35 AND I'M 32!! FML

#20469230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (4780)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with grlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake mother. My grlfriend came and swung open the door onto foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (4773)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

2day I hered an owl near my house . I got excited , as they are not common in the area , an I listened intently to try an locate the source of the sound . After a few minutes , I realized I was not listening to an owl , but to my mother's sex noises . FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today , mah son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking!! fat FML

#20446338
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after working the midnight shift at job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (4737)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

TODAY, I WAS CLEANING ONE OF MAH DISABLED CLIENTS BECAUSE HE POOPED HIMSELF, SO I STARTED TO UNDRESS HIM FIR A SHOWER. I TOOK HIS DIRTY DIAPER OFF AND SET IT ON HIS BED, THEN I BENT OVER TO TAKE OFF HIS SOCKS AT WHICH POINT HE PUT THE DIAPER ON MAH HEAD LYK A HAT. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51188) - you deserved it (4734)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Yesterday, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24648) - you deserved it (4683)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: