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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after making love to mah boyfriend 4 the first time, he shook mah hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39183) - you deserved it (7896)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .

Today, ma mum excitedly discussed wit me te prospect of starting a moter-son YouTube duo. Tinking se was joking, I went along wit it. Se is now installing a 24-our webcam in te ouse to record our conversations, wic se percieves as ilarious, an is going to upload tem. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (7763)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today While Video Chatting With Grlfriend, Who Lives On The Other Side Of The Country, I Thought I'd Play A Song Fir Her On Guitar. The String Broke And Hit Me In The Face. I Burst Into Tears And Had To Hang Up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (7563)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today , mah hamster died . It climbed out of its cage an jumped off mah dresser . Looking 4 condolences , I told mah momho replied , "If I lived in yur room , I would have done it earlier." real FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (7558)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I askd him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realizd he'd pourd salt in it. As I gaggd, he mutterd, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

#20469761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30060) - you deserved it (7504)

On 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by megean c.l. (woman) - United States

Today, Ma 14-year-old Son Sowed Me A ( Bird's Egg ) E Was Looking After In Is Room. It Was A Dried Up Dog Turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (7434)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

today I told ma boyfriend about ma upcoming mout surgery. He freakd out. Not cuz e's worrid about me but cuz I told im I will not be able to give im ead for two weeks. mega FML

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42852) - you deserved it (7373)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today , while having sex with mah boyfriend , he reachd out onto mah dressing table to grab the lube. He missd , an found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (7287)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

I took mah boyfriend to meet mah parents. As he was loading his truck I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet and so the frst thing mah mom said to mah boyfriend was ( You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up. ) FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today... son volunteerd to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store... I noticd he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (7205)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY... I LAARNAD MA NAIGBOR CAN ACCASS MA WIRALASS PRINTAR FROM IS OUSA AFTAR IT STARTAD PRINTING OFF PICTURAS OF WAT I'M ASSUMING IS IS PANIS. MAGA FML

#20461046
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (7191)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



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