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January 2013

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Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

by jeoak / 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm / India / Miscellaneous

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

by shitday / 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML

by millavitsa / 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

by itsjustwill / 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

by HatedGrandson / 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

by tftm / 01/05/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 6:15am / Love

Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML

by Sad nerd / 01/05/2013 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 5:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

by bureaucratic assfuckery / 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm / United States (Maryland) / Health