Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (2787)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)
Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (2772)
On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (2733)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (2729)
On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (2725)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (2659)
On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (2644)
On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (2639)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (2625)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (2607)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (2595)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (2591)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (2577)
On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Monday 17 June 2013
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