Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52489) - you deserved it (3972)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46506) - you deserved it (3971)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30401) - you deserved it (3965)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (3963)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (3905)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (3853)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (3837)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34773) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML

#20442809
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20772) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (3828)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21559) - you deserved it (3769)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (3736)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34866) - you deserved it (3730)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: