Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (3979)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26282) - you deserved it (3978)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37912) - you deserved it (3967)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (3967)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (3934)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21485) - you deserved it (3908)
On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35650) - you deserved it (3901)
On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (3877)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (3860)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (3852)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (3827)
On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (3779)
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33112) - you deserved it (3728)
On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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