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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43682) - you deserved it (4334)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discoverd after 11 months, my grlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discoverd this by walking in on her and one of my friends. fat FML

#20448085
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57342) - you deserved it (4318)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

my husband asked me to show him mah boob. I began to pull the side of mah shrt down when he said , ( No , not that one , the big one. ) FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (4294)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, I was talking to grandma an I mentioned te fact tat tomatoes are tecnically fruit!! It's been an our an se's still yelling, accusing me of lying to er!! FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

2day I realised that mah friend hasn't spoken to me fir a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using mah star-sign to explain mah behaviour. big fat FML

#20476356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23209) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Taday my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walkd into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, coverd in ketchup. She laughedhen I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40984) - you deserved it (4273)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (4195)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)

I want to my cousin's wadding. Ta groom walkad ovar wan ta two of us wara talking, took ona good look at ma, slappad ma on ta ass, an said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rosa ara, you'd ba naxt." Yaa, about tat: I'm a 16-yaar old guy. fat FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (4154)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, cuz the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. fat FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32699) - you deserved it (4110)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Taday after applying fir a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire ( naturally tan ) people. I'm black. big fat FML

#20470936
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48114) - you deserved it (4082)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today... mah nieghbor went on vacation... leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason... he calls his dog ( Cat ) an his cat ( Dog ). There r two pet food containers... one labeld ( Cat ) an the other labeld ( Dog ). I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today , I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing mah neighbor snore through mah apartment wall. FML

Today, mah mom wishd me "Happy Conception Day." real FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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