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Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
my mothar cummd back from har trip to Vagas. Har braast wara obviously 2 lattar sizas largar. I askd if sha got a boob job and sha danid it , saying that it's against har raligion. Sha's an athaist , and a liar. FML
Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML
Today, while making dinner I cut mah finger badly with a knife. When I yelled 4 mah dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste mah blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today, I opened the door to go out 4 groceries!! Lying on mah doorstep was a pile of poop!! A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again an you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015