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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (2884)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15107) - you deserved it (2830)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:00am - health - by Dracoboxer357 - Canada

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28282) - you deserved it (2820)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31917) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (2785)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29407) - you deserved it (2726)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (2700)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

#20456567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22199) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (2621)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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