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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23340) - you deserved it (1570)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

#20468056
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (1568)

On 01/19/2013 at 3:38pm - misc - by sophietr8 (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28794) - you deserved it (1537)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

#20463067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (1509)

On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22765) - you deserved it (1489)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

#20462065
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (1437)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19569) - you deserved it (1435)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (1428)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

#20456464
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (1410)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16432) - you deserved it (1391)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21823) - you deserved it (1383)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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