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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21357) - you deserved it (38927)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (38302)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10408) - you deserved it (37253)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10192) - you deserved it (36731)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21732) - you deserved it (36655)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML

#20471100
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7599) - you deserved it (36515)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:11am - money - by sorrygranny (woman) - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (36108)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11044) - you deserved it (35831)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML

#20483477
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8625) - you deserved it (35766)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:25pm - work - by faulty number - United States (Florida)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12309) - you deserved it (35288)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

#20452665
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17138) - you deserved it (35172)

On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16352) - you deserved it (34737)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17463) - you deserved it (34250)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)



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