Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9967) - you deserved it (30471)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10501) - you deserved it (30309)
On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7039) - you deserved it (30016)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (29928)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13348) - you deserved it (29729)
On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17016) - you deserved it (29657)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (29485)
On 01/19/2013 at 1:14am - money - by LaLince (man) - Switzerland
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6071) - you deserved it (29180)
On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (28942)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14604) - you deserved it (28870)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15957) - you deserved it (28349)
On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (28282)
On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10325) - you deserved it (27489)
On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Monday 20 May 2013
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