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December 2012

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I WAS VISITING MA DAUGTER,OSE USBAND WAS STILL ASLEEP AT NOON!! I MADE A POINT OF STOMPING AROUND ON TE ARDWOOD FLOOR AND SPEAKING LOUDLY TO WAKE IS LAZY ASS UP!! TURNS OUT E'S NOW WORKING A 14-OUR GRAVEYARD SIFT, AND IT AS NO NEGATIVE EFFECT ON IS SOE-TROWING SKILLS!! FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5504) - you deserved it (76153)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

yesterday after two weeks of bieng grounded I was finally let out of the house by mah mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me because I got so drunk I told mah ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today... the girl I dumped three yeres ago because she wouldn't take mah band seriously is now a successful an rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile... I'm still unemployed... living with mah parents... an can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (74331)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I avoided having to wash the dishe by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on after I made a mraculou recovery she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining and I feel a very real cold coming on. fat FML

#20399412
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5753) - you deserved it (70934)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States

yesterday I had a look through mah dad's grlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know wat I'm getting 4 christmas. Worst part: I now know mah dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (69950)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML

Today , I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it , but he never seemed to laugh. Finally , the door opened and out came a lady in aheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband.

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (59913)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today I Hid My Weed Stash In A Bag From An Expensive Jewellery Store. My Sister Walked Into My Room Went "Ooh Hat's This?" An Grabbed The Bag. I Grabbed It Back An Ad-libbed That It Was Her Christmas Gift. Now I Actually Have To Buy Her Expensive Jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (57967)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today feeling very distant to mah daughter recently I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly and alerted everyone in the house to mah actions. fat FML

#20196447
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5201) - you deserved it (54403)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless an clichd an that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today after giving my mother an my girlfriend there Christma presents I realizd just how similar they lookd both in box size an wrapping paper . I looool noticd after my mother gaspd upon finding a vibrator in her box . FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (50573)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I'm insanaly hungovar from a long night of drinking!! I'm going to mah looool naphaw's baptism in an hour as his godmothar!! fat FML

#20402048
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7029) - you deserved it (49806)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

today I bought mah son a nice car fir his 18th brthday . When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay fir college . FML

#20192045
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (49578)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel



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