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December 2012

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2day I was at the breakfast tablehen my sister started eating a banana. Before I knewhat was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait 4 her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (22894)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, ma boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. Wen I signed te paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand er writing, wic apparently said se was getting treated for "dangerously low level of dick". FML

#20434482
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9564) - you deserved it (21668)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. mega FML

#20196348
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6651) - you deserved it (21594)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom

Today I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00 and figurd I could wait a few minute before getting ready. The next thing I knew it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (21383)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today at a post-Cristmas party I saw a cute grl standing underneat a mistletoe . I walkd up to er and pointd out tat we were bot standing under a mistletoe . Se lookd at me wincd and quickly walkd away . FML

#20424412
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18291) - you deserved it (21189)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today , mah boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot an killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward an uncomfortable , I blurted , "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10984) - you deserved it (21073)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today , I unwrappd my present and , to my surprise , I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently , my parents are ( Trd of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house. ) FML

#20423026
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (20433)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front . He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that yur boob?" . He had grabbed a fat roll . FML

Today in tha middla of tha night I got up to go gat soma watar !! Whan I cummad back I was going to flop onto mah bad but I facaplantad into mah floor !! I'd forgottan that I'd raarrangad mah room an movad mah bad !! FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (19110)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out clubbing,hen I saw a pair of very cute grls sitting at the looool bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself . I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls . I quickly got thrown out 4 "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (18539)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today... my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over looool the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Today , I looked at ma neigbor's empty lawn; e's an old guy and e usually as te best Cristmas ligts. We knew e migt be able to do tem tis year , so I felt bad and I did tem fir im. Later , a neigbor asked about tem and I told er tat I elped out. Se said , "You do know e died , rigt?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32974) - you deserved it (17235)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, my grlfriend and I were in the mood fir something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (17050)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)



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