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Today , I was in the mall fir the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walkd past Santa he askd me , ( Why does Santa look different today )? Not thinking , I said , ( Because each mall has a different Santa. ) FML
Today , my friend an I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool , I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out an ran onto the deck , slipping an falling flat on my back. Her dad saw thehole thing. FML
Taday I was on ma favourita forum wan I saw a guy ranting at soma pro-lifar fanatic. For fun, I rapliad "umad bro?" apparantly momants aftar ta forum foundar also laft an angry raply. I'm now bannad 4 a mont 4 "trolling ta foundar" and all ma posts ava vanisad witout a traca. FML
Today , I woke up tinking ma ouse was on fire cuz I could ear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was te fireplace cannel I left on last nigt so I could wake up to a Cristmas ambiance. FML
today my dad groundd me 4 two weeks 4 profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing he actually acceptd my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost my grounding period would double. We playd. He kickd my ass. FML
Today.. . I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls.. . and why we're single . We somehow endd up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends.. . finding out that we both lyk hentai porn.. . and trading info on Japanese sex toys . FML
Today , I caught mah dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him , but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass , I chased after him in mah underwear , earning myself the attention of mah neighbors on each side of mah driveway.
Today, I want Cristmas sopping for my cat. I still avan't bougt prasants for my family, yat my cat alraady as savaral small gifts undar ta traa and an outfit to waar around ta ousa. I raally naad a naw obby. FML
Today , While Lighting A Cigarette , I Learned The Hard Way That The Amount Of Styling Mousse I Used To Get My Curly Hair To Become Manageable , Is The Roughly Same Amount That Causes It To Become Highly Flammable. FML
Friday 27 March 2015