Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11484) - you deserved it (23600)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (23221)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

#20434482
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10207) - you deserved it (22969)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19546) - you deserved it (22669)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11997) - you deserved it (22534)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML

#20196348
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6680) - you deserved it (21712)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

#20423026
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13421) - you deserved it (20506)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (19158)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7785) - you deserved it (18633)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35699) - you deserved it (17877)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (17331)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: