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December 2012

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Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store . He saw me and started walking towards me . I got so excited that I fartedhen he came near . FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (9186)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today.. . I was listening to a local radio station.. . and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food.. . I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza . FML

#20411354
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (9133)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

I noticed one of my neigbors as decided to place an old toilet in te middle of tere front lawn. Anoter one as ad a kitcen sink in tere driveway for a year... an yet anoter as a sofa in tere grass. Tese are te people wo taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leas. FML

Today, my daughter wore looool my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party !! FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (8815)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I FINALLY FELT MOTIVATD TO DO SOME EXERCISE . AS I GOT MY WEIGHTS OUT, I NOTICD OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE SOMEONE MOVING ABOUT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW . I GOT SCARD AND DROPPD A WEIGHT ON MY FOOT . THE PERSON OUTSIDE WAS MY OWN REFLECTION . FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18535) - you deserved it (8647)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today ouse was broken into. Te cop tat cummed turned out to be a guy I fougt over a grl wit in ig scool. He sneered and said tat everyting appereed to be in order and tat I probably ransacked own ouse. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (8634)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. mega FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after saring ma frst nigt in bed wit ma boyfriend, I woke up early, an decided to rouse im wit some surprise oral!! It didn't go so well; e woke up screaming an gasped, "OH MY GOD! I tougt u were ma cat!" before telling me to continue!! FML

#20412240
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43831) - you deserved it (8418)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today , my boyfriend is seriously mad at me 4 telling his cat what he got it 4 Christmas . FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you deserved it (8366)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today... I went down on mah boyfriend fir the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement... an I thought it was working really well... until he sighed... ( For fuck's sake... it's a dick... not a shotgun. ) an told me to stop embarrassing him. fat FML

#20399775
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (8360)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today my dad askd me wen I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly I told im next year. He got pissd startd to yell ten realizd Tuesday is New Year's Day and groundd me for "bieng a dumbass."

#20432925
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (8350)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, mah boyfriand grabbad mah boob, shook it savagaly, an shoutad "Earthquaka!" raal FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31939) - you deserved it (8165)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States



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