Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday , I took child to the park. Having been there an hour , another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children , pointing to child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16984) - you deserved it (47574)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today I was drunk at a party an confessed my love fir my crush an told her how I felt . According to my friends I made out with another girl not long after my confession . FML

#20412747
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11510) - you deserved it (45781)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

TODAY , I WAS DRIVING WITHOUT MY SEATBELT ON , WHEN I NOTICED A POLICE CAR APPROACHING. I PANICKED AND DESPERATELY FUMBLED AROUND FIR MY SEATBELT , ONLY FIR THEM TO PASS BY WITH JUST A FUNNY LOOK. THEN IT HIT ME THAT I WAS RIDING MY MOTORCYCLE. FML

#20428799
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (45215) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, I Trid To Be Cute By Sitting On Top Of Boyfriend's Belly . While Getting On Top, I Accidentally Kned Him In His Nuts . In Pain, He Joltd His Head Up And Endd Up Banging His Head Against Mine . Now I Have A Black Eye And He Can't Walk Without Waddling . FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (41398)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, mah girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. mega FML

#20199046
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11351) - you deserved it (38405)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... mah extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for mah extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from mah re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. fat FML

#20421236
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (37329)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Christmasloverandstuff - United States

Today... I followed mah neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on mah Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to fine mah Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6358) - you deserved it (36928)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Taday I woke up with looool a hangover from hell. My cloths were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10713) - you deserved it (36892)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I baked some regular brownies fir mah friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed mah room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. mega FML

#20411716
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10456) - you deserved it (35412)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15213) - you deserved it (35130)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I went to church 4 the frst time in mah life!! They had a Jesus statue at the altar , an I noticed he was surprisingly muscular!! Ten minutes later , I had to excuse myself , after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus!! FML

#20432015
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10239) - you deserved it (34672)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study 4 it. I'm pretty sure looool I failed. FML

#20201964
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9029) - you deserved it (34513)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today I checked mah sister's diary cuz I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior . She caught me in the act and mah mom whom I've caught blatantly snooping through mah stuff multiple times now grounded me 4 mah "disgusting" violation of mah sister's privacy . FML

#20430472
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17363) - you deserved it (33087)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: