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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26675) - you deserved it (4722)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (4664)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (4662)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21777) - you deserved it (4542)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23240) - you deserved it (4533)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47916) - you deserved it (4531)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (4466)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49627) - you deserved it (4461)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22742) - you deserved it (4432)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (4383)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36648) - you deserved it (4365)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (4247)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -



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