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December 2012

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Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35828) - you deserved it (5065)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (5057)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (5054)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39551) - you deserved it (4954)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (4928) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40505) - you deserved it (4806)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (4775)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (4758)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50042) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (4655)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (4632)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)



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