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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28571) - you deserved it (3255)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28978) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (3208)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (3197)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (3191)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (3180)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39243) - you deserved it (3178)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (3119)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
134 comments

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you deserved it (3087)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (3079)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)



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