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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (2708)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17801) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (2683)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (2664)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33182) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (2617)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18188) - you deserved it (2615)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (2614)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40985) - you deserved it (2603)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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