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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41885) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (3312)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29397) - you deserved it (3306)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25372) - you deserved it (3301)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (3274)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (3257)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (3254)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (3241)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30418) - you deserved it (3213)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (3211)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33458) - you deserved it (3211)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

#20200046
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (3185)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

#20198694
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25585) - you deserved it (3180)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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