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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

#20432536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (2312)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12627) - you deserved it (2280)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML

#20200101
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (2277)

On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15361) - you deserved it (2265)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (2245)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22503) - you deserved it (2221)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (2213)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

#20189162
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12522) - you deserved it (2196)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (2189)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (2176)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (2170)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (2166)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (2145)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)



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