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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (2516)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

#20402543
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (2500)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm - love - by Miki (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39084) - you deserved it (2495)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (2458)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (2453)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (2448)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (2440)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (2400)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16934) - you deserved it (2389)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27209) - you deserved it (2355)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (2325)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)



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