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December 2012

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Today... the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloadd a picture of a huge... hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone... as every time I try... the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (5782)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today , I gava mah girlfriand an orgasm. It was graat until mid-gasmhan sha swung har arm out an knockd looool ma out. Sha still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40047) - you deserved it (5776)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today after nearly a week of awful pain in my rigt lung I finally went to see a doctor about it. Wen I mentiond my istory of lung problems an suggestd it could be pneumonia e told me to "leave te diagnosing to te professionals" an endd up claiming I ave acid reflux. mega FML

#20411951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25226) - you deserved it (5763)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States

Today..!! I came home to fine husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peieng off the second-floor balcony!! My husband was giggling like a little grl!!

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (5750)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (5734)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get looool a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, ( Because he's not real, dumbass! ) FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (5644)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Yesterday, I facd a dilemma . If I don't let te cat sleep in my bedroom, se spends all nigt owling at te door, waking up my 2-year-old in te process . If I do let er in, te dog gets distressd an cews te contents of te bin . If I let bot of tem in, I ave no room to sleep . FML

Today , I confronted 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal , considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear , it doesn't. real FML

#20414355
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (5561)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

TADAY I JOKINGLY TRIED TO CONVINCE MA GRLFRIEND TAT WYOMING WAS A GOVERNMENT CONSPRACY AND DID NOT EXIST. SE BELIEVED ME. MEGA FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (5382)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, Some Beefd-up Guy Wearing A Wife-beater Sat In Restaurant, Took Out A Big Sack Of Coins, And Playd My Little Pony Songs On The Jukebox Fir 4 Hours Straight. I Couldn't Summon The Courage To Tell Him To Leave.

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (5262)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier startd flirting with me an askd me for mah number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After looool walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants r unzippd." mega FML

#20427288
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (5228)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, at tha gas station, tha automatic door didn't opan whan I approachad it!! I askad tha cashiar to opan it for ma, joking that cuz I'm a radhaad, I didn't hava a soul and it wouldn't opan for ma!! Tha cashiar fraakad and wouldn't lat ma go until I provad I had a soul!! FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (5180)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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