Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (8566)
On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)
Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (8442)
On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (8160)
On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38808) - you deserved it (8117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm - love - by Bouh (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24296) - you deserved it (8095)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (8090)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24004) - you deserved it (7902)
On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States
Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13345) - you deserved it (7738)
On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (7637)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (7591)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14237) - you deserved it (7493)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (7401)
Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14758) - you deserved it (7346)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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