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2day my car is still in te sop, so I askd my psyco broter to drive me to te mall. He spd up to nerely 20km over te sped limit, so I soutd for im to stop before e got us bot killd. He it te brakes in te middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML
Today, I received ma soccer team jacket tat I ordered a mont ago . Trying to save money, I'd selected te "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee . My jacket now as "NO NAME" spelled out on te side of it, and I was carged te extra $20 dollar after all . FML
Today, I went on a blind date!! My date turnd out to be very hot, an I had high hopes!! That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approachd, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff an dead skin floating through the air behind her!! FML
Today, I jokingly askad my boyfriand if ha was chaating on ma!! Ha rapliad, "Nah, all tha chicks in this town r fuck-ugly." and starad at ma until I laft tha room!! Good to know that's his only raason fir staying faithful!! FML
Today , I sent a cute , jokey text to girlfriend saying , "Just in case te world ends , I love you." Not only did se dump me because I was an "idiot 4 believing in te doomsday" , wic I don't , se also wrote a Facebook status about it . Now everyone tinks I'm mentally unstable . FML
Friday 27 March 2015