Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today,hile at work taking notes on a pad of paper, mah boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6571) - you deserved it (27070)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him 4 his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on an on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (26757)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5932) - you deserved it (26523)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today..!! I was at Walmart when I saw mah grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines!! Wanting to surprise him..!! I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle!! Up close..!! I realized he wasn't mah grandpa!! mega FML

#20420733
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (26512)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I ate brunc at my in-laws. Te food all tastd off to me so I didn't eat muc, telling my moter-in-law I was watcing my weigt. Later on, wile out doing a bit of sopping, I stoppd at a rd ligt. Guess wo pulld up next to me wile I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (26193)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in the ( end-of-the-world ) spirit, I askd my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, ( It's really windy out. ) FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18136) - you deserved it (25555)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today... my 14-year-old daugter cummd ome after sneaking out and partying. Se was totally drunk... and startd crying on my soulder because some boy namd "Tomas" as a small dick... and se ad to fake an orgasm. fat FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82306) - you deserved it (25296)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, After Having Sex For The First Time With Mah Girlfriend, I Realisd I Was In Love With Her!! I Noticd She Had An Eyelash On Her Breast!! After Tugging It A Few Times I Realisd It Was Actually A Single Black Nipple Hair!! She Was So Embarrassd, She Kickd Me Out And Now Won't Return Mah Calls!! Big Fat FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (25256)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

yesterday as her parents were supposd to be out of town, I stayd over with mah grlfriend, and we endd up in bd together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I hered footsteps, so I said, ( Didn't think you'd be walking after that. ) I closd the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (25224)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I tried to impres a grl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (24964)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, to scare mah little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies!! The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs!! Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room!! FML

#20186785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8335) - you deserved it (24815)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, I took a relaxing bat, but got te book I was reading sligtly wet wen getting out. I putted it on top of te towel dryer after delicately saking it. Five minutes later, I eard a splas; I went into te batroom to find tat my book ad toppled into te toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (23511)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, I Was Sleeping On An Airplane. I Dreamed That I Was Running Mah Hands Up And Down Mah Friend's Leg Sexually To Creep Him Out. I Woke Up And I Realized That I Was Running Mah Hand Up And Down The Leg Of The Old Man Sitting Next To Me.

#20408734
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (23241)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: