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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

#20411081
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (7374)

On 12/21/2012 at 9:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (7303)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (7284)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (7253)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (7189)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

#20408692
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (7155)

On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (7048)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36017) - you deserved it (6954)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19338) - you deserved it (6873)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

#20199403
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (6800)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49375) - you deserved it (6800)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (6773) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version



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