Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24073) - you deserved it (4179)
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19183) - you deserved it (4169)
On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (4135)
On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17940) - you deserved it (4118)
On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30271) - you deserved it (4050)
On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30662) - you deserved it (4018)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (3989)
On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21291) - you deserved it (3986)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33922) - you deserved it (3963)
On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -
Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3900)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34419) - you deserved it (3867)
On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24912) - you deserved it (3859)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12560) - you deserved it (3857)
On 12/04/2012 at 4:19am - animals - by SweetheartSusie (woman) - United Kingdom
Monday 17 June 2013
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