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December 2012

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Today, wile going on a jog troug te countryside, I discovered tat it is actually possible outside of crappy TV sows to ave a rifle leveled at you, and to be souted at to, "Get off my land." mega FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (16497)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworker over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (16328)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, I cummed home to find looool a mouse in the garage!! Frantic, I killed it!! My 7-year-old son cummed home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr!! Whiskers!! I killed my son's class pet!! FML

#20194994
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (16169)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on mah left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited 4 me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (14571)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told mehat it was; a moldd dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parentshen they askhat I got. FML

#20408274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (14280)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with mah boyfriand, who is parfact in avary way possibla. Wa wara going to hava sax for tha first tima as wall. Unfortunataly, I had a draam last night about him shitting all ovar ma an I can't look at him with a straight faca. maga FML

#20403258
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36964) - you deserved it (14236)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today... I dyed mah naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seieng me... mah boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex... because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41082) - you deserved it (13783)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry an called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39441) - you deserved it (12909)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

at a Christmas party , crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response stupid brain could think of was , "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (12895)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18367) - you deserved it (12516)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I recievd a package from a local guy on Craigslist . Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only containd a photo of an iPhone . The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so mah husband went over and beat the shit out of him . I now have to bail him out of jail . FML

#20416192
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42655) - you deserved it (12424)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that sex with mah husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an looool orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (11240)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)



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