Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (10783)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (10277)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13672) - you deserved it (9938)
On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (9686)
On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (9433)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4683) - you deserved it (8936)
On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (8762)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10710) - you deserved it (7847)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (7312)
On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12183) - you deserved it (7142)
On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13565) - you deserved it (7083)
On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15367) - you deserved it (7023)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (6481)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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