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November 2012

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Today... I caught teenage daughter smoking... and trid calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad 4 her health. She replid with... ( It doesn't harm u if your under 20. ) FML

#20174862
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Yesterday Two Of My Friend Condemned Me Fir Being "narrow-minded", Cuz I Couldn't Help But Laugh At The Thought That Someone Would Believe Mermaid Actually Exist. FML

#20185421
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17723) - you deserved it (4341)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today , Dressed In My Sexiest Nightie , I Asked My Boyfriend In The Most Sensual Voice Possible What He'd Like Me Do To 4 Him Tonight . His Eyed Widened , He Started Clapping Wildly And Then Shrieked , "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (4313) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I woka up with a wax strip on mah chast and mah girlfriand sitting naxt to ma on tha bad laughing. Sha pullad tha strip. I scraamad. fat FML

#20149912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or heres something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Yastarday, axcitad that I finally got a placa of my own, I invitad my boyfriand ovar for a saxy slaap ovar . Ha told ma his mom doasn't want him slaaping ovar . Ha's 21 yaars old . fat FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33135) - you deserved it (4280)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, mah grandmother said to me, ( You look just like yur mother did at yur age. Except your fatter of course. ) FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (4264)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriand and I had amazing maka-up looool sax aftar a huga fight!! Turns out ha forgot to lat ma know it was actually braak-up sax!! FML

I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly calld the waiter over an paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returnd, he broke up with me for ( emasculating ) him. fat FML

#20180957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (4161)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today mah cat peed on mah bra !! I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work 4 mah 12-hour shift !! Now I'm trying to wash mah bra out in the sink an stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture !! Only 10 more hours to go an the smell of cat pee is still lingering !! FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (4157)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today , my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked himhy the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18909) - you deserved it (4128)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

looool Today, I was bitchad out by my suparvisor cuz of my lack of "customar sarvica" skills . I work at a jail and all my "customars" ara criminals . FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (4107)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)



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