Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5016) - you deserved it (16961)
On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7777) - you deserved it (16682)
Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9305) - you deserved it (15702)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)
Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12249) - you deserved it (15094)
On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States
Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5389) - you deserved it (14946)
On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4955) - you deserved it (14924)
On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (14845)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10093) - you deserved it (14523)
On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4897) - you deserved it (12633)
On 11/16/2012 at 12:04am - work - by rubberduck1 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (12241)
On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6267) - you deserved it (12159)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38210) - you deserved it (11462)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (11387)
On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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