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Today, te fater of ma unborn cild told me e isn't sure e'll be able to make it to te birt, since tere's no guarantee ofen it will appen, so e can't scedule time off. Tis would be understandable if e actually ad a job. FML
Today, yet again, mah boss whined to me lyk a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online fir the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body fir sex at least twice a day when we get married. mega FML
Today, after dealing with infidelity in mah marriage, I found myself looking 4 advice. This ld me to the comment section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart an Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessd tweens.
Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of mah shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is mah favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing mah own boobs because they smelled like mah ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I found a woundd turkey in our backyard . I brought it inside, puttd it in a cage, and tendd to its wounds . I then left . When I got back home, I smelld the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking . She had prepard a turkey, the one I'd rescud . FML
2day I've Now Workd On Tanksgiving.. . Black Friday.. . Te Weekend After Tat.. . And Two Days Tis Week . My Usband And Son Ave Ad All Tat Time Off.. . And Yet I've Still Endd Up Aving To Clean Te Dises And Te Ouse After Tem On All Of Tese Days . FML
Friday 27 March 2015