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November 2012

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yesterday I sampled some of the food mah fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (4989)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handd in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopid and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21915) - you deserved it (4766)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , my hubby and I decidd to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town , so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decidd on our items , and went to the check out. Who would have guessd my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (4747)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend cummd and sat on my lap. She landd directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. mega FML

Today , in tha spirit of Hallowaan and to gat back at a child who rapaatadly prassad tha doorball until I showad up , I quickly opanad tha door and yallad "Boo!" Tha child andad up baing carriad away crying with wat pants by a mothar thraataning to sua. FML

#20142562
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28941) - you deserved it (4724)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer... he pointed at me and screamed... ( I will burn u alive and enjoy it! ) All of mah info including mah address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (4659)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight!! When I calld him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (4643)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , aftar losing twanty pounds to plaasa my husband , tha only commant I racaivad was , "At laast now only your parsonality sucks." FML

#20143873
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (4555)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today I witnessd a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens wit stolen goods in is ands. Te manager was running after im. Trying to be elpful I pulld forward to block te tief from getting away. Te cops sowd up an arrestd me fir itting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (4478)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32364) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with mah grlfriend an a few others. The card that was drawn was labeld "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was mah grlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeld "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, mah girlfriend confronted me 4 forgetting to take the trash out . At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped mah lips . looool She spent the next ten minute calling me stupid and laughing at how mah grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed . mega FML

#20185423
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (4431)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, dog climbd onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food!! Then whind until I showd him how to get down!! He does this every night!! My dog is a genius!! FML

#20171812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (4376)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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