Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5364) - you deserved it (24272)
On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8271) - you deserved it (24109)
On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8143) - you deserved it (22158)
On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)
Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (22144)
On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada
Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (21805)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:47am - money - by iwannaberich - United States (California)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11762) - you deserved it (21475)
On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7631) - you deserved it (21417)
On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11436) - you deserved it (21408)
On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10120) - you deserved it (20366)
On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4945) - you deserved it (19620)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany
Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6315) - you deserved it (19468)
On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6219) - you deserved it (19374)
On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5160) - you deserved it (19227)
Monday 20 May 2013
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