Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (3619)
On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (3605)
On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17371) - you deserved it (3479)
On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17649) - you deserved it (3358)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12833) - you deserved it (3351)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (3318)
On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26087) - you deserved it (3315)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States
Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (3273)
On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17511) - you deserved it (3270)
On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14682) - you deserved it (3258)
On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (3252)
On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15037) - you deserved it (3241)
On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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