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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (5655)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

#20158967
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (5590)

On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22037) - you deserved it (5491)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (5453)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36734) - you deserved it (5385)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (5334)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22067) - you deserved it (5327)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (5317)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (5293)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (5152)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

#20181186
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (5054)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (4979)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (4968)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)



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