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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I have a final for mah precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realizd that I'd forgotten mah calculator. FML

#20172402
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (6647)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a rd light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walkd over to the driver-side door, he instead lockd me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (6597)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today I Textd My Boyfriend Saying Tat I Couldn't Wait 4 Im To Get Ome An See My Costume An Tat I Ad Dressd Up As A Nakd Lady. He Textd Back Asking If I Could Dress Up As Someone Wo Was Making Dinner Instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (6515)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today , I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it lookd like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it fir a couple of hours , giving it food , an rocking it to sleep , my parents found me. Then I realisd it was just celery. Too bad it took that long fir my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (6396)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, WAS THE DAY MY GIRLFRIEND AND I TRIED TO 69 FOR THE FIRST TIME!! TODAY IS ALSO THE DAY I LEARNED THAT I'M PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF MAINTAINING AN ERECTION AFTER SOMEONE FARTS IN MY FACE!! FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I Bought A New Armband To Hold Mah IPhonehile Working Out So I Can Listen To Music An I Was Excitd To Start Getting In Shape. Unfortunately,hen I Trid It On, Mah Arm Was Too Big An It Didn't Fit. FML

#20168720
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18121) - you deserved it (6112)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to fine that while I was passd out someone stole mah prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today , I was enjoying a nice bath , when one of mah cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet , until mah other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientiou cat owner , I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

yesterday in break from tradition... I proposd to mah boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on mah knee... after pouring mah heart out... he lookd wistfully out over the water an said... "So... I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (5899)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I received mah first ever hand-job!! It would have been great if she didn't wipe it acros mah facehen I had finished and storm out of the room!! mega FML

I finally met te girl I've been talking to on pone 4 a wile and found er carming in person as well. Tere's just one problem: se as more facial air tan I do. FML

#20159578
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18629) - you deserved it (5805)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

today I had the best sex of looool our relationship with mah boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, lookd me sweetly in the eyes 4 a few moments, then decidd to slap me in the face with it. real FML

#20168405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

TODAY, I TRIED TO MOTIVATE MY 9-YEAR-OLD SISTER TO CLEAN HER ROOM. SHE SAID SHE'D ONLY AGREE IF SHE COULD KILL ME. THINKING SHE WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND, AND NOT A TOTAL PSYCHOPATH, I SAID SURE. SHE RAN TO HER ROOM SHOUTING, ( YES! I'M GONNA USE THE BIG KNIFE! ) SHE'S STILL CLEANING NOW. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (5665)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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