Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16101) - you deserved it (1554)
On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22021) - you deserved it (1548)
On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21785) - you deserved it (1546)
On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17717) - you deserved it (1545)
On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21065) - you deserved it (1542)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17441) - you deserved it (1541)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (1537)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (1528)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (1489)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Mmkay1515 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13281) - you deserved it (1483)
On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17543) - you deserved it (1482)
On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States
Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12172) - you deserved it (1479)
On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (1475)
On 11/13/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by ninjakomodo (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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