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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (2890)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17298) - you deserved it (2886)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20135) - you deserved it (2879)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22138) - you deserved it (2878)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32173) - you deserved it (2826)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23877) - you deserved it (2814)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19709) - you deserved it (2764)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24100) - you deserved it (2758)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (2757)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (2744)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (2740)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia



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