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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (4117)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (4115)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same one. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (4083)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (4063)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (4016)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22982) - you deserved it (4012)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML

#20148134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (4000)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23912) - you deserved it (3994)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (3928)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (3922)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (3876)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18336) - you deserved it (3802)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36930) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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