Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37674) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12741) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15612) - you deserved it (4920)
On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10716) - you deserved it (4820)
On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (4801)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (4785)
On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29424) - you deserved it (4776)
On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15100) - you deserved it (4751)
On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12443) - you deserved it (4721)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12720) - you deserved it (4435)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13270) - you deserved it (4423)
On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13978) - you deserved it (4415)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (4357)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
