Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18135) - you deserved it (2045)
On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15001) - you deserved it (2030)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19668) - you deserved it (2023)
On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (2007)
On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25049) - you deserved it (2002)
Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16634) - you deserved it (2001)
On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17086) - you deserved it (1980)
On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23682) - you deserved it (1980)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16215) - you deserved it (1971)
On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (1952)
On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (1952)
On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)
Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18648) - you deserved it (1947)
On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15270) - you deserved it (1939)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada
Monday 17 June 2013
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