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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (3117)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30519) - you deserved it (3116)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (3095)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (3070)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (3066)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23516) - you deserved it (3055)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23841) - you deserved it (3044)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (2999)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42210) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)



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