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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (3097)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (3076)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (3058)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (3022)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (3005)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (3005)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32272) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19233) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)



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